


everything she does is beautiful.

by LLReid



Category: Bloodbound (Visual Novels)
Genre: ARFID, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon LGBTQ Character, Eating Disorders, F/F, Fluff and Angst, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Requests, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Soulmates, Same-Sex Marriage, Science Experiments, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Triggers, infertility is discussed briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-19 06:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29746422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LLReid/pseuds/LLReid
Summary: Inspired by; You And Me by Lifehouse.~~~~“Do I even wish to know why that mortal man-child has set himself on fire?,” Kamilah said as a means of announcing her presence just as Cole accidentally set the sleeve of his lab coat ablaze. Despite the commotion ensuing in the lab, her voice was as highly unamused as ever and that alone made Anastasia have to bite down on her bottom lip to keep from laughing out loud as she extinguished the blaze with a single wave of psychic energy.“We’re doing science,” Anastasia shrugged, casting an affectionate glance across the room at a very unimpressed looking Kamilah. The dork didn’t even try to be funny half the time, she just was. Though, she supposed anyone else seeing that look would naturally assume they were about to get stabbed... but to her Kamilah Sayeed really was an adorable and heavily armed teddy bear with fangs.“By setting mortals on fire?” Her brow furrowed. “Well, Annie, I am used to your methods and your creative process being somewhat outlandish and borderline bizarre but I must say that you’ve truly outdone yourself this time.”
Relationships: Kamilah Sayeed/Anastasia Sayeed, Kamilah Sayeed/Main Character (Bloodbound)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 18





	everything she does is beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to mix a few prompts for this one!
> 
> Instagram prompt 1: KAMILAH AND HER GUMMY BEARS. THATS IT. THATS THE REQUEST.
> 
> Instagram prompt 2: would you maybe write something where its before the kids are born and annie is doing her research into how vampires have kids and kami is being really supportive and stuff?
> 
> Prompt 3: I remember reading your old bb4 fic, and how you'd alternated each chapter, one with kami's and the next with annie's pov. while i love seeing kami be gay for her wife, it was really fun to see annie's pov as well, and it would be really cool if you wrote a few pieces from her perspective.

“The only possible source of trouble connected with the acid itself is its highly corrosive nature, which can be overcome by the use of corrosion-resistant materials,” Anastasia explained to a group of doe-eyed interns who were gathered around one of the stations in one of her many Raines Corp laboratories. 

“Ha!,” one of them snorted. “If only they had known the trouble that nitrid acid was to cause before it was finally domesticated, the scientists would probably have stepped out of the lab and shot themselves.”

She snorted and glanced a the young mortals name tag. “That’s a bit dramatic, Cole... but it’s also very true. They probably wouldn’t have thought it worth the effort if they knew all the trouble they were going to have to go through— now can anyone think of any corrosion-resistant materials that would help with this experiment?”

This was the part of her job she loved. Working with the interns all vying for a permanent job at Raines Corp after their graduation, as she often found that whilst their knowledge in certain fields may have left a lot to be desired, their unjaded ideas and general level of enthusiasm for every aspect of the job were contagious things. Some of her greatest accomplishments over the past twenty-eight years since taking over from Adrian as CEO had been achieved with the help of her interns rather than her more esteemed employees.

Generally they were all rather sensible kids who respected the rules and the hierarchy of the laboratories.

However, every once in a while an idiot came along.

“Do I even wish to know why that mortal man-child has set himself on fire?,” Kamilah said as a means of announcing her presence just as Cole accidentally set the sleeve of his lab coat ablaze. Despite the commotion ensuing in the lab, her voice was as highly unamused as ever and that alone made Anastasia have to bite down on her bottom lip to keep from laughing out loud as she extinguished the blaze with a single wave of psychic energy.

“We’re doing science,” Anastasia shrugged, casting an affectionate glance across the room at a very unimpressed looking Kamilah. The dork didn’t even try to be funny half the time, she just was. Though, she supposed anyone else seeing that look would naturally assume they were about to get stabbed... but to her Kamilah Sayeed really was an adorable and heavily armed teddy bear with fangs. 

“By setting mortals on fire?” Her brow furrowed. “Well, Annie, I am used to your methods and your creative process being somewhat outlandish and borderline bizarre but I must say that you’ve truly outdone yourself this time.”

“I try.” She turned to the relieved looking mortal and her expression hardened into a cold mask. “You sprayed some sort of aftershave on your lab coat, didn’t you?”

The boys cheeks flushed scarlet and he nodded. “How did you—“

“It’s fairly obvious,” she said evenly. “I’ll let you off with a warning this time but the next time something like that happens you’re done here, am I understood? You were told on your induction day that the chemicals in here do not mix well with aftershaves and perfumes, and that if you have to wear them you don’t get them near your sleeves where they run the risk of coming into contact with flammable chemicals. I’m running a business here and I will not tolerate this sort of blatant disregard for the rules that are in place for your safety.”

He swallowed thickly and nodded. “I understand.”

She glanced around at the rest of the shell shocked mortals and added, “That goes for all of you— I suggest you all study your employee manuals tonight because the next time this happens I will not be so forgiving.” She turned to one of her long time employees and work friends, Evgenia, who was so irritated her head was literally in her hands, “Finish here, Dr. Zhilina, and make sure no one inadvertently gets themselves killed while I’m gone.”

“That’s easier said than done,” grumbled the Russian scientist. “Duraki! Oni duraki!”

Anastasia rolled her eyes at the woman’s displeasure. “Spasiba, Zhenya.”

“Zhenya!,” the frazzled mortal repeated, laughing softly at the affectionate diminutive of her name she’d been calling her since she’d started working for Raines Corp when Adrian was still in charge. She’d started only a week after her and they’d risen through the company ranks together. “Tebe povezlo, ty mne nravish'sya, Nastya.”

Kamilah simply snorted at the interaction as she made her way across the room to her. They were heading on a trip to handle council business in Tokyo with The Five, with their private jet due to take off from LaGuardia in just over an hour— so she knew the moment she heard the rustling coming from her blazer that she’d probably already had Mathew hit Dylan’s Candy Bar for her gummy bear fix.

“Do I even want to know how many packets of gummy bears you have in there?,” she teased.

In lieu of an actual answer Kamilah wrapped her arms around her and hugged her like she hadn’t seen her in a good six months, despite the fact they’d only been apart for a few hours. She’d started hugging her that way back when they were in the worst sort of hell whilst fighting Rheya. When they weren't living day to day or even hour to hour. When they survived minute by excruciating minute. When the next day was an eternity away and they didn't always want it. When death wasn't the enemy, but their salvation

Her heart exploded as those strong arms pulled her against her chest. There was a moment where she froze, still in awe that someone could be so happy to see her, and then her arms swept around her neck. She held on, squeezing her eyes shut as she inhaled the lavender scent and the lingering trace of perfume on her skin. This was the real Kamilah that no one else would ever get to experience. Her hugs were so different now than they had been at the start of their relationship, they were stronger and tighter. She lifted her clear off her feet, one arm around her waist, the other hand buried deep in her hair, and her breasts were mushed against hers as she playfully nipped at her earlobe.

“I’m starting to think I have a slight gummy bear problem,” she said sheepishly, looping an arm around her shoulders as they started off towards the door. An odd sort of vulnerability shone in her dark eyes as she regarded her, like she alone had the power to hurt her or pleasure her in a way no other woman ever could.

She did her best to look shocked. “You? No! That is brand new information— what gave it away?”

“The interns have turned that supply closet in the hallway outside of my office into a gummy bear pantry,” she grumbled, her lips settling into a pout that she was quickly able to decode. It was a look that betrayed the fact she was actually very amused, but as that was not on brand, she was trying her hardest not to crack a smile. 

She, however, saw no problem with cracking up at that. A gummy bear pantry. She’d heard it all. “Give those kids a raise.”

“Annie, they have even invested in one of those padlocks that require a person’s fingerprint to open that Raines Corp released a few years ago— I now have a gummy bear pantry that is secured by my fingerprint!” 

“And that’s a problem because...”

“Because there are over four hundred different varieties inside in glass jars and I may or may not have tried one of each just to ensure the quality had not been diminished upon being removed from the bags—“

“I’m sorry but did you just say you’ve eaten four hundred gummy bears today?,” she laughed. Were anyone else to claim to have eaten four hundred gummy bears in one sitting she would’ve seriously doubted their story. Her wife, however, tended to lose all self restraint when she figured out she liked something— so much so that the idea of her consuming that many gummy bears wasn’t outlandish at all.

“Yes!” She gestured to her stomach. “I am so bloated I look like Lily after Thanksgiving dinner last year when the fool challenged herself to consume an entire turkey by herself and then had the audacity to consume half a pumpkin pie— but despite that I can confirm the gummy bears all tasted very good.”

She reached up and caressed Kamilah’s cheek. Nobody else would ever guess how dorky and adorable she really was beneath the layer of ice and disillusionment she cloaked herself in around other people. She really was one of the most unapologetically extra people she’d ever met.

“Well thank god the gummy bears still tasted good or heads would’ve rolled,” she teased. Thanks to the stilettos she was wearing she didn’t even have to tip toe as she leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. Kamilah glanced over in surprise when she pulled away, but pleasure glowed in her eyes.

“Indeed,” she said, clearing her throat. “That was my thought exactly. Though I still cannot say with any certainty at all how I managed to eat four hundred of them— it was, as you often say, a whole thing.”

She smiled and reached up to squeeze her hand that was draped over her shoulder. She really was a wonderful woman. And behind that tough-as-nails exterior lay a heart of gold.

“I made a few leaps forward with my vampire fertility research today,” she said softly as they climbed into the backseat of their car. 

“You don’t seem as ecstatic about that as I’d expect you to be...”

“Well it’s given me more questions than answers, really,” she sighed. “My hypothesis that both a female vampire’s eggs and a male’s sperm undergo a cellular change when they Turn so that any child that could potentially be conceived would also be a vampire was correct. Conception with either is impossible without some sort of major intervention, as due to the microcellular changes that occur on the Acrosome that result in slightly decreased levels of hyaluronidase in male’s, and a thickening of both a female’s Corona Radiata and Zona Pellucida, sperm cells can’t reach the perivitelline space to allow contact between them and the nucleus of the oocyte—“

“Annie, my love,” Kamilah interjected with a soft laugh, “I adore it when you get so enthused about science you start using words that sound fake but if you wish for me to follow this conversation with any sort of comprehension you’re going to have to use laymen’s terms.”

“Right, sorry— um, in short, the outer layers of both vampire eggs and sperm cells become harder upon Turning. That’s why our kind can’t conceive naturally, because despite how strong the sperm becomes, it is still not strong enough to penetrate a female vampire’s egg and we don’t ovulate or have periods anyway— and it is also incompatible with mortal eggs, so that’s why a male vampire cannot get a mortal woman pregnant. Following so far?”

“I believe so.”

“The vampiric gametes—“

“Gametes?”

“Reproductive cells — sorry — uh, they are so hard that I have no idea how I’m actually going to penetrate the outermost layer without causing any structural damage to the cells themselves that would render them useless.” She paused. “I also figured out that males continue to produce sperm the way they did when they were mortal and that my hypothesis that a woman’s eggs will generally freeze in the state of health they were in when she Turned is correct.”

“All of that sounds fairly encouraging to me,” Kamilah said, her brow furrowing. “Yet you still don’t seem happy... do you think it’s impossible for our kind to have children?”

“No, it’s very possible. With enough time and dedication I know I can bring this to fruition— it’ll take as much creativity as persistence but I know for a fact I’m capable of doing this and I won’t stop until I see it through.” She fiddled anxiously with her fingers, popping her knuckles and twirling the rings she was wearing, and directed her gaze out of the window. 

A wave of nausea hit her at the thought of telling Kamilah exactly what was bothering her, not because she worried about her reaction... she knew the moment she was able to form the words Kamilah would be nothing but supportive. It was more the age old self loathing that had plagued her since her childhood that was wearing on her more than anything else.

They both wanted a family and the idea that something she still convinced herself that she’d intentionally done to herself in her mortal life might impede that was just too much for her to accept. Kamilah would never hold it against her... but she would never forgive herself if she’d actually damaged her body so much that she couldn’t give her wife a family.

Kamilah slid into the middle seat and reached out to gently stroke her cheek, drawing her face back to hers. “Annie,” she breathed, the thumb trailing slowly across her cheekbone never stilling. “What is it, baby? Something is obviously hurting you a great deal if you’re even struggling to say it aloud— you know there’s nothing you can’t tell me. What’s the matter?”

For a long moment she simply stared at her. Trying to form the words. Trying to stop herself from bursting into tears. The splendid thing about falling apart silently, though, was that she could start over as many times as she liked inside her head without sounding like a complete lunatic.

“Even when I do somehow figure this out, I— you know I was underweight when I died.” Her voice was so quiet it was hardly even a whisper, the shame of her lifelong struggles around food hitting her with full force. Struggling with ARFID since her childhood and then the added strain of Anorexia on top of that as a high school aged teenager searching for any semblance of control over her life that she could find didn’t exactly do much for their chances of one day becoming parents. “I haven’t tested my own eggs yet but, Kami, before you met me there was a good two and a half years— no, it was probably closer to three years, that I was so underweight that I didn’t have a single period and then when I did eventually start bleeding again things were always irregular. Remember you noticed it when I was mortal and that was when I told you exactly what my issues were? I don’t know the damage that being malnourished for pretty much all of my mortal life has done— I was three when it all started and died at twenty-two, so it was a really long time to be deprived of so many essential nutrients. I’m sor—“

Kamilah immediately drew her into her embrace and pressed a kiss to her hair, silencing her apology before it could even leave her mouth. “No,” she said softly. “You do not ever have to apologise to me — or to anyone for that matter — for all that you’ve gone through because none of it was your fault. You didn’t choose to develop a phobia centred around food at three years old after you choked on stale toast that had been on the table for days because your parents were too drunk to remember to feed you or keep you hydrated. You didn’t choose to become depressed as a teenager in a foreign country you couldn’t fully assimilate to and fall into the trap of using food as a means of gaining some iota of control over your circumstances. None of that was your fault— nobody would willingly choose those things. Do you understand me?” She tightened her arms around her. “Your life was far from easy, Annie. After all that you’ve gone through it is a miracle that you’re even still here at all. Many would not have had the strength to overcome even half of the things that you’ve had to... so don’t you dare think of any of the side effects of your trauma as weaknesses because that is the furthest thing from the truth.”

She sighed and nodded. “There’s no way to predict what my test results will look like when I eventually pluck up the courage to actually go down that rabbit hole but for someone like me who has had trouble eating a balanced diet for so long, it’s usually not great news. My growth was stunted. I needed reading glasses as a mortal because it was effecting my vision. I was diagnosed with Osteoporosis at fourteen— so we do know that there was some significant damage to my mortal body... I suppose it’ll just be a case of seeing how far that damage has actually gone.”

The ancient vampire tilted her face up so that she was looking her in the eyes. “No matter what your test results say, you are enough for me.” She kissed her brow. “I don’t simply care for you. I love you with all my heart. You are my entire life. Without you, I am nothing. I have nothing— you are always going to be more than enough for me and anything else is simply a bonus and not a necessity.”

She let out a watery laugh and nodded tightly before drawing her into a long kiss. 

Despite how Adrian had once warned her that warmth was not Kamilah’s forte, it was in moments like this she was reminded just how wrong he had been. Her wife had such an immense capacity of love to give, she just hadn’t had anyone to give it to for a long time and she hadn’t always been sure how to express it in a way that other people would understand.

“Thank you. I love you,” she whispered, nuzzling the hand on her cheek. “I swear I don’t know what to do with you. You are forever keeping me off balance and we’ve been together for pretty damn close to thirty years. Just about the time I think I have you all figured out, you say something that completely changes everything.” 

“Good,” Kamilah said in a smug tone. “I’d hate to think I was becoming predictable— and even when you eventually do solve the age old vampire fertility struggle and if it turns out your eggs are not viable... we could potentially try with me.”

“Besides the fact that would probably be really triggering for you, sweetheart, the thought of you ramped up on pregnancy hormones scares me,” she smiled, genuinely touched that Kamilah would even think to offer her body like that, but knowing her well enough to know that her need for full autonomous control over its every function wouldn’t mix well with pregnancy. She wouldn’t react well to doctors examining her or poking her with needles whilst throwing medical jargon around the room— and when she was that triggered people tended to wind up with a dagger protruding from their neck.

Kamilah’s lips turned into an amused smile. “Yes, indeed, we would need a bigger gummy bear pantry were I to one day get pregnant and that would be entirely impractical.”

“I’m thinking more along the lines of Ahmanet Financial turning into The Overlook Hotel for nine months.”

“I understood that mortal pop culture reference!,” Kamilah beamed, not bothering to hide the fact she was proud of herself. When she’d convinced her to watch The Shining she’d protested, of course, but had actually come to like it so much that she’d seen it twenty-seven times and had been genuinely disappointed when she’d found out the story was fictional and not ‘an actual retelling of obscure mortal history’. Apparently the thought of spending the night in a haunted murder hotel in the back of beyond was so thrilling that she would’ve actually endured less than five star accommodation whilst being surrounded by nature and overly excited mortals— so she’d bought her every Stephen King book ever written and introduced her to more film adaptations to make up for the death of her adorably twisted dream.

“I still think Doctor Sleep was just as good a movie—“

“You only enjoyed that movie because you have a crush on the ‘Rose The Hat’ character,” snorted Kamilah.

“I have a thing for immortal bisexual dommes with bad tempers who exude big dick energy and wouldn’t be opposed to choking me till I’m on the verge of passing out while they fuck my brains out. Don’t kink shame me, god!,” Anastasia laughed. “Rose The Hat is basically you, by the way.”

Kamilah shook her head in bemusement and moved her hand so it was teasingly rested on the side of her neck, giving it a delightful squeeze. “Well at least you’re honest about your rather frightening taste in women.”

“I mean, granted you don’t waltz around in a ratty old top hat and you’d rather stab yourself in the eyes than set foot in an RV, but baby girl just wanted to torture people and live a long time— she was stabby like you and had psychic powers like me!”

“If anyone else had to compare me to a character in a film I’d show them just how stabby I can be.” She playfully nipped her bottom lip. “However, since it’s you, I will admit that I understand the comparison. We have the same energy.”

“If we ever have a daughter she’s literally going to be like Rose The Hat when she grows up, do you realise that? Minus all the torturing and stuff... but still.”

Kamilah snorted and reached into her pocket, and before Anastasia knew what was happening a gummy bear infused with strawberry vodka was already in her mouth.

“You’ve had four hundred of those today,” she laughed whilst chewing the candy, “and— damn, that’s actually quite tasty.”

“Four-hundred-and-one now,” shrugged Kamilah, “and yes, these ones are indeed very tasty. They’re imported from Ukraine.”

“Only you would pay to have gummy bears imported from bloody Ukraine.”

“The alcohol quality and content is actually much higher than in the US version of the candies— it’s actually a very sensible thing for one with any sort of good taste to do.” She threw a handful of gummy bears into her mouth. “God these are good!”

“You’re going to give yourself a stomach ache.”

“That is a risk I’m willing to take.”

“Yeah because you’re not the one who’s going to have to hold your hair back when you inevitably start vomiting,” she teased.

“This is entirely your doing for introducing me to these mortal snacks,” Kamilah responded with her mouth full. “I lived for more than two thousand years without trying these and I cannot remember how I survived without them— they’re a marvel and I would like to suggest Raines Corp inventing a life size one for part of my Dark Solstice gift this year.”

“You dork.” She laughed lightly and shook her head, knowing better than to argue with her, then opened her mouth to have another gummy bear placed on her tongue. “A gummy bear the size of — what? — a polar bear? A grizzly bear?”

“Yes to both of those.”

She pressed a kiss to her nose. “I’ll see what I can do.”

~ fin.


End file.
